process, part one

I've been learning a lot about process lately, about how things (at least things of value) take time.  Especially when it comes to closure and preparation.  God has been bringing me through both of those kinds of processes over the past few weeks.

Going through the process of finding closure has been one of my most recent journeys of note with the Lord.  It's not an easy experience.  I guess it's my stubbornness to resist God when he's taking his time that makes it harder than it needs to be.  My impatient, now-now-now-get-it-done-quick self wants an easy fix, to move on to the next good thing.  That whole deal is done, and it wasn't all fun, and it's hard to think about sometimes, so let's move on and be happy again, right?  That's how I think a lot.  Impatiently.  But that quick and easy fix doesn't bring healing.  It's like trying to put some ointment and a band-aid on a snake bite.  It doesn't make any sense or do any good, and the poison simply spreads.  We are so adamant about a punishment that fits the crime; why are we so dismissive of a healing to fit our hurt? 


Anyways, God's been teaching me a lot in this area, particularly when it comes to teaching me to slow down and be willing to let him do stuff his way.  He is the Healer, and desires to see his children whole from the inside out.  He isn't interested in triage or pain-free treatments.  He is interested in growth, change, and transformation of the deepest kind and in the most dangerous way.  I think of the boy who was changed into the dragon in C.S. Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treader, whom Aslan was more than willing to make human again.  The process was not painless and it took awhile, but the end result was beautiful and something to be talked about; much more preferable to an easy patch-up or ignoring the problem. 


God is more than an easy fix.  We are the clay; the Lord is the potter, and wants to make us into vessels full of truth and life.  The process involves bending and submission on our part.  It requires malleability.  It's not necessarily fun; but it makes us all the more whole, and gives the Lord all the more glory.


Finally, through the process, we grow.  I have grown.  I am growing.  I am healing more fully and completely.  I am growing to understand more of who the Lord calls me to be.  I am becoming stronger, I am maturing.  I am coming to recognize more of His abounding grace and overflowing mercy.  And as if the list wasn't already overwhelming enough, I can add one more reason to praise Him.