unapologetic

I was talking to one of my cousins briefly today about my upcoming mission trip to Africa.  She's done the World Race and worked with the organization I'm going with before, so she's had a lot of experience.  At one point in our conversation, she asked me, "So, do people think you're crazy?"

My answer?  Without any hesitation, yes.  

She just laughed and completely understood.  I mean, it's true.  The list of people who don't think I'm crazy is very, very short at the moment.  Apparently, what my team and I are doing doesn't make sense. 

On some level, I get that.  But then again, I don't.  Especially when it comes to other Christians I know.  In my head, I feel like this makes perfect sense.  Yes, it's going to be uncomfortable, and smelly, and dirty, and probably a little bit dangerous.  But hello, have you ever read the Christmas story?  The animals were definitely smelly, the manger was assuredly dirty, Herod wasn't exactly the grandfatherly type, and I can assure you that if you asked Mary she would tell you that Messiah or not, giving birth is uncomfortable.  But lo and behold, into all that discomfort and dirt and stench comes The Baby, the one truly worthy of adoration, a child worth getting excited about.

So with that in mind, I think it is perfectly reasonable for me to be excited for my own messy, smelly, uncomfortable adventure God has set in motion this summer.  Especially because it's not really my own; it's His, completely and fully.  He's just blessed me with the opportunity to take part in His plan to wreak a havoc of love on the East African landscape.  

I know God is going to do great things, and I'm excited about it.  It's hard to be so excited about something and then not see others getting excited, or at least trying to understand where that feeling comes from.  So please forgive me if I get a little bit frustrated by people who look at me funny when I say I'm going on a two-month mission trip.  Yes, to all of you who are wondering, it might seem more responsible to get a job or to take summer courses to get ahead on credit hours instead of going on this trip.  But God calls us to a higher plan than better grades or a nice cushion in our budget.  I'm chasing after what he told me to pursue: Him.  And His will.  And His people.  If that means "wasting" my summer, so be it.  

So yes, I'm excited.  I'm more than excited.  I want June 1st to be here tomorrow.  I want God to sweep down and rain love and healing over Uganda, Kenya, and Tanzania.  I want him to blow my mind, and the minds of each and every member of my team.  I'm tired of holding that excitement in just so I can appear properly dignified in public.  I'm ready to jump up and down and wave my hands around and talk about it to everyone who asks, because God has placed this conviction and this passion in my heart.  And for that, I will not apologize.

So if my excitement is offensive to you, I'm not sorry.  Just know that if I seem to be on fire, it's because my soul has been touched by the One who set the sun ablaze.  And He is too big to be denied.